Welcome Mannequins
by acid-washed-mannequin
Welcome!
So I’ve lived 20 years already and time seems to fly, but time didn’t fly in preschool. I was bullied a lot and kids called me gay or girl. Now I totally understand why they called me a girl Lol! We will get to that in a moment. I had a few friends and 2 of them I can still call friends to this day.
I can remember this one day, when I came home from school. My mom and dad came home and asked me how school was, I had a terrible day it was one of the worst days. I couldn’t hold the pain anymore and started crying. Obviously my parents were in shock, they knew I got bullied but didn’t think it was that heavy (as I used to hold it all in me) I still hear my mom say that she was so angry and hurt. The next day she went to school with me and had a talk with the teachers. The bulling never really stopped in preschool.
Then middle school came along, I was the only kid from my preschool that went to this middle school. It felt like a new start. So instead of being myself I thought it was an awesome idea to be the total opposite of who I was. I dressed really manly and acted more masculine. We can say I couldn’t keep up with the act and started to turn back in to myself. I do have to say it was a relieve. Although the bulling started again, not that heavy just a few assholes who called me out. I had a nice 4 years of middle school. I made friends, had fun and got my degree.
In the last year of middle school I had to think about what I wanted to do. Did I want to be a hair dresser? Or rather be in health care? I was thinking about my grandmother (who passed away when I was 8) she was a seamstress for Dutch designer Frank Govers. At that point I started to really get interested in fashion. I always had my own style but this time I was thinking about a study in fashion. I wanted to do something creative and work with my hands. So Custom Fashion Design it was. The same study my grandmother had done.
I got accepted in fashion school and had never even touched a sewing machine, let along made a piece of clothing. Surprisingly I was pretty good at it, I had quickly master the basics and made a jump to a higher level. I finished the higher level in 2 years ever that. I decided it was a good idea to go another level higher. That’s where I’m now. ‘’Niveau 4’’ year 3 (1 year to go). My wish is to go to AMFI (Amsterdam Fashion Institute) and learn more about retail clothing. Designing on computers and stuff like that.
The beginning of fashion school was also the beginning of finding myself. I was experimenting with clothing, and my hair was growing out from this weird emo hairstyle I had. Adults called me girl and I was quite confused by it. I knew I liked boys, but.. how can I look like a girl? What the heck I’m a boy. I jumped into the world of make-up (I wanted to learn more about that magical powder) on Youtube. And came across Michael-James. A guy, who looked like a girl and wore make-up. I saw he had a channel with more boys that wore make-up and looked like girls (AndroGenetics) I discovered that I was Androgynous. I was still confused and didn’t really do anything with it until I got the feeling something was not right. I didn’t feel like a boy, or girl. I jumped into Wikipedia and found out more about Androgyny. The way I feel is the best to describe as Androgynous and Gender-queer. I started to dress more girly, first buying girl shirts, now wearing skirts and cropped tops gehehehe.
I was thinking about starting a youtube channel or blog for quite some time now. I do live with my parents so I decided that youtube wasn’t an option (filming in daylight with parents running around isn’t a good idea). I was kind of afraid of starting a blog ‘cuz of my dyslexia. (talking is no problem but writing can be a hard task) Until now, I thought ‘’stop being a scared chicken and through yourself out there everyone makes mistakes’’ I want to share my style, passion for fashion and life. Not only to share the things I love with you, but also to share with the future me. Too look back at this when I’m old and wrinkly.
